Everybody Wants You
by Doktor Girlfriend
Summary: Nathan is on the menu, and Charles has been at the sauce.


Title: Everybody Wants You (1/3)  
Author: Doktor Girlfriend  
Pairing/Cast: Nathan/Charles, Dethklok, several OCs  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, OFCs, language, drinking & implied drug use  
Summary: Nathan is on the menu, and Charles has been at the sauce.  
Disclaimer: I do not own _Metalocalypse_. Klokateer Number 666 (Birget) and the bands Homunculus, Fractured Eden, and No Mercy belong to me. The band Death Ryder belongs to The Magic Rat. The band Baen-Shee belongs to Xixthe. The band Clusterfuck belongs to Bloodrocution. And Klokateer Number 355 belongs to Tracy.  
Notes: My entry for Brutal Business' "Partying Is Brutal" theme month. This began life as a simple Sue-bashing drabble, but it seems to have... evolved. There are still some cheap shots taken, but now it's more of a little deconstructing of common Sue romantic tactics, and a lot of Nathan getting cockblocked. Many thanks to The Magic Rat for the beta and to everyone who let me borrow their babies for this party.

**You Give It All Away - Everybody Wants You**

**By Doktor Girlfriend**

"Nathan?"

Charles squinted through the mild buzz he was working on, able to discern a large form hidden in the shadow of a broken amp. Around him the air pulsed and pounded with the beat of head-splitting music and hundreds of feet against the ground. It was the party following the first day of Metal Jam, a night of debauchery and sheer awesome to be rivaled only by the party following the last day of Metal Jam, and here was Nathan Explosion, huddled in the corner like a Mathlete at the junior prom.

Not that Charles had any idea what that was like...

"Nathan, why're you hiding?" he asked, slurring just slightly. He noted how casual he had become about drinking around the boys ever since that business with Melmord and wondered dimly if it wouldn't get him into trouble. Certainly he had made sounder judgments in his life, but jealousy was a compelling emotion. "A lot of people are looking for you. Death Ryder are here. So are Homunculus and Baen-Shee. Clusterfuck even decided to crash, and I haven't had them thrown out because I know you like them. ...You do still like all of these people, don't you, Nate?"

"I'm not hiding from _them_," Nathan hissed, peering around Charles into the writhing crowd of metalheads and groupies, eyes darting and searching. "Those douchebags are all right." He craned his neck just a little further around the side of the amp, muttering, "But they're not the only ones looking for me..."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about- _Shit!"_ Nathan hissed, shrinking suddenly back into the shadows. "_Fuck!_ I think she saw me!"

Charles frowned in confusion, looking over his shoulder. "Who are-?"

"No, don't look!"

The manager whipped his head back sharply, narrowing his eyes in annoyance at the frontman. "Nathan, if I don't look, I can't see who it is bothering you and subsequently put an end to it."

"That's, uhh... a good point. Okay. But try not to be so obvious about it. God."

Suppressing a sigh, Charles straightened and turned sideways, taking a sip of his drink as he glanced casually about the celebration, eyes quickly registering and discarding the usual nonsense (KC and Pickles making some sort of lazy exchange in the corner; Paul, Skwisgaar, and Caj forming a perfect trio of tightly-clad androgyny in the back; Toki and Hiroshi chatting happily with a group of starry-eyed girls, respectively completely oblivious to, and entirely uninterested in, the amount of tail they could easily accumulate) as he attempted to locate the problem. It didn't take long.

The woman doggedly making her way in their direction was of slightly above average height and sported bright red hair, the long tresses curving around a determined, heart-shaped face and large, commendably perky breasts, and sweeping just above a respectable rear end. Aforementioned perfect figure was crammed into the latest Hot Topic fashions, and Charles could almost hear the faux leather creak and rub as she body-checked her way through the raucous crowd, predatory green eyes set squarely on Nathan.

"Ah, yes, I see. She's frightening."

"She won't fucking leave me alone!" Nathan moaned pitifully, crouched almost to all fours and peering hesitantly between Charles' legs.

"Who is she?"

"The singer for some chick band. Broken... Heaven? Or some shit like that. I don't know, she just..." Nathan shook his head furiously, deeply distressed. "Fuck, Charles, all I said was 'Hey,' and she just grabbed onto me and started talking about... opening for Dethklok and touring together and shit... It was creepy! So now I'm hiding here."

"Hmmm..." Charles glanced thoughtfully at the woman, Nathan's information having helped to identify her. Sabrina Nightshade was the frontwoman of the all-female act Fractured Eden, a group generously referred to by the critics as "pop metal" and more accurately referred to by their peers as "kiddie metal." Many of the bands involved with Metal Jam had grumbled to themselves and each other over their inclusion, but no one could deny that Fractured Eden attracted a new demographic - one that couldn't stay out past 10:00 PM but had a lot of its parents' money to spend. Whatever they admittedly lacked in metal integrity, the members of the all-girl band made up for in partying stamina, legitimate musical talent, and, in the case of Ms. Nightshade, tenacity. She had quite the reputation when it came to going after what she wanted, and given her bold behavior and physical bearing, it wasn't difficult to see how she could trigger Nathan's fear of aggressive women.

She was approaching with increased purpose now, most likely having spied the cowering frontman, who rose from his crouch in order to hide his bulk more effectively behind the amp. "Fuck, she's coming. You, uh... wanna maybe... help me out here?"

"Mmm," Charles replied, taking another sip of his drink, calmly watching the woman destroy the distance between them. "I suppose it is my job."

"Yeah, uh... that's what we pay you the big bucks for!" Nathan laughed nervously, eyes darting between the advancing Nightshade and his casually drinking manager. "Uhhh... Anytime tonight is good..."

"I'm thinking..." Charles murmured, drinking deeper from his cup, seemingly unconcerned with the menacing women drawing nearer and nearer. Nathan began to panic and plead to his manager's sense of mercy.

"Come on, Charles, _please!_ I apologize for every rotten thing I've ever done to you, just please _do_ something!"

Charles tipped his head back, quickly downing the rest of his drink then slamming the plastic cup on top of the amp, exhaling heavily and fixing Nathan with a steely gaze. "All right." His hand shot forward, grabbing a fistful of Nathan's shirt collar and yanking his head down, crushing their mouths together.

Nathan's initial instinct was to pull away, but Charles' grip on both his shirt and mouth was surprisingly strong. The shorter man seemed quite intent on this kiss and- Oh, shit, it was a kiss. Charles was kissing him. He was kissing his manager. At a party. Full of people. Lots of people who knew him. Oh, shit. Why the hell was Charles kissing him?

Eyes grown wide from the realization of the potential "Not Good" of this situation, Nathan caught a flash of red in his field of vision, briefly distracting him from his intimate view of Charles' eyebrows. Sabrina Nightshade had stopped short, staring at the spectacle before her, expression deeply shocked and then painfully embarrassed. She took a faltering step back, looking side-to-side as if searching for a way to extract herself from the situation. Ah, so _that's_ why Charles was-

Nathan moaned in surprise as Charles angled his head, taking advantage of Nathan's distraction to sneak his tongue into the singer's mouth. He could taste the alcohol on his manager's breath, wondering if that might be another possible motivation for their impromptu lip-wrest- Oh. Oh, his lips were soft...

Nathan made a low rumbling noise in his throat, closing his eyes, oblivious to Ms. Nightshade's hasty retreat and everything except the man attached to his mouth. His large hands lowered to settle on Charles' hips when the other man smartly stepped back, their lips disengaging with a wet, smacking sound. Charles retrieved his empty cup from atop the amp and turned away, leaving Nathan staring in his wake.

"H... Hey!" Nathan shouted once he'd regained the power of action, taking a step after him. "What... What the fuck was that for? Was that all just... to get rid of her or...? Uhh..."

His manager paused, looking over his shoulder, and gave Nathan the sort of smile he usually reserved for ordering the boots put to someone. Then he turned away once more, disappearing into the crowd.

Nathan hesitated just inside the shadow of the broken amplifier, flexing his fingers, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Then he straightened his back, took a deep breath through his nose, and followed.

**TBC**


End file.
